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It can feel difficult saying no; sometimes you don’t want to disappoint or upset others, but as leaders, it is vitally important that we are working at our highest and best use (on jobs that others cannot do) and that we actively make decisions to say no based on empowerment of us and our team.
While roles and structures (next article) can add considerable value to understanding your highest and best use, it is the continued empowerment that you give in a work environment to grow others and to actively delegate, which will not only assist your leadership position but will greatly enhance the way your team learns, grows and provides for their empowerment to get better.
Mastering the art of saying no is about understanding that your needs are just as important, if not more important, than everyone else’s. How we accept, or turndown requests is essential to understanding the hierarchy of that request first. Who is asking? Why are they asking, and what is the opportunity to empower your decision-making to say no?
We can struggle to say no when we don’t understand our value. We believe it may be responded to with rejection or disappointment. It can often be misinterpreted or seen as dismissive. This, in turn, leads to our belief that our worth is tied to seeing how much we can do for others rather than how we can empower and grow others.
Our value is actually diminished when we are not responsible enough to say no. Knowing when to say no is a sign of self-respect and strength. It can give an understanding of your value to others, but essentially, it provides a line of demarcation around your offering and the way we can empower our team.
The first step to understanding no is to understand our highest and best use. What must we be doing? What we stand for as a leader primarily is empowering others to be their best. We must actively think about this at all stages of our day.
How many times do we get caught off guard by a request or a favour at the moment? We get asked for a meeting (always only ever going to take five minutes but actually never does). We get asked to look after a matter for someone else, we get asked many requests on a daily basis, and we say yes on many occasions without considering or consenting to our time. We then regret why we took on that task when we either should not have or are over-committing our role rather than empowering our team members.
Having a calendar is not about filling it in with yes moments. Yes moments typically lead to urgent overtaking important. Framing our response to any request should be in Stephen Covey's quadrant. Is it urgent (someone else’s problem that they are passing on to us) or is it important and can fundamentally change a moment and give the opportunity to empower someone without a calendar deadline? So often, our calendars are there to be filled by the next request (let me check my calendar we hear ourselves saying), but should they be prefilled?
The way we say no can greatly influence how it is received. There are many instances where those who are making requests do know that you can complete the request quicker, with more knowledge and possibly even better decision-making. But how does that help others? More importantly, how does it help you? Saying no is an active part of delegation, but knowing the strengths of your team and the way you are developing your team through reporting lines are the best defence for you being your highest and best use and being able to say no confidently and redirect with importance to one of your team members who you are empowering.
Ambiguity in our leadership of taking on requests can be our worst enemy. If we are indecisive or vague, people will continue to ask us to do things that we should be ensuring we don’t do. Our value lies in communicating no and knowing who to redirect the request to to ensure it is of value when it is made.
It is important to prioritise ourselves. Our role (tasks - the 5 pillows) in our business is not undertaken by anyone else. So the question could be why we undertake other people’s roles when they don’t undertake ours. It is reasonably simple: as leaders, we have the skill to do those jobs that no one else can. How much time we focus on them is directly proportional to the success of our business and our leadership.
It is the sense of hierarchy that is important to remember, but that does not dismiss the need for delegation; in fact, it may increase the value of active delegation.
Saying no and redirecting a request to one of your team allows you to set boundaries to avoid over-commitment and focus on your value exclusively, not only to enhance your leadership position but also to elevate the company to one that provides focus on what is principally the most important jobs that will ensure the value of each of the stakeholders within the organisation.
Our decision-making in saying no is a big yes to the increasing value of what we do and the value we add.
